Message #268

[mckee1952]

AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT? 

Question:  How many days in a week?
Answer:    6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:    Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question:   How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:     Only one, but it might take all day.
Question:  What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:     There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question:  Why don't retirees mind being called “Seniors”?
Answer:    The term comes with a 10% percent discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer:    Tied shoes.
Question:  Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:     They are the only ones who have the time
Question:  What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
Answer:     NUTS!
Question:  Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:       They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question:   What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:     Normal
Question:  What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer:    The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:    If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he  doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer:    He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Question: What do you do all week?
Answer:    Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.